Saying NO is an act of self care
This has been one of the lessons I've learned that has truly been life changing. In a world where our worth is tied so deeply to our productivity, saying no can feel close to impossible.
"Can you stay late today? It would help the team so much."
"You haven't been to our house for Christmas in 2 years. We expect you here, you're young, traveling should be no issue."
"I saw your price on your website, but I know a lot of other people in your industry that charge a lot less. So, I'd like you to do this work at a lower rate."
No. I value my rest and need my down time. Thanks for understanding.
No, Christmas at home is a non-negotiable for me. Love you so much and appreciate your understanding.
No, my price is based on my quality of work. If someone else fits your budget, I'd encourage you to hire them. I hope your project goes well.
Now, when you read the above no's you may have thought, "I could never say those things. That's mean. People need me." But, guess who needs you more than other people- YOU! Your emotional well-being, your mental well-being, your physical well-being. They all need you to put yourself and your needs first. And when you do put yourself and your needs first, guess what that's called- SELF-CARE. Sure, bubble baths and glasses of wine, and massages, and boxes of chocolate are all really nice and can be self-care, but at it's true core, self-care is the act of CARING DEEPLY FOR YOURSELF.
I had to come to a place in my life where I had to decide I valued myself enough to start saying no when it was appropraite. I'm not here to tell you that it's easy. I'm not here to tell you that people will always be understanding. And I'm not here to tell you that sticking to these boundaries will always go as planned. But, I am here to tell you that YOU'RE WORTH IT! You're worthy of saying no to what the world expects of you and YES to what nurtures your soul.